Conflict Resolution Training Underway
Reprinted from Conflict Resolution Training
Underway
(Handouts
for Parents)
Conflict: a disagreement, argument, fight, debate or
dialogue between two or more people or groups.
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. Whether
you are at home, at work, at school or at play, people are
bound to see things differently, even argue. Conflict is
not necessarily bad, even though it is uncomfortable. Resolving
everyday conflicts peacefully and productively requires
learning new ways of handling difficult emotions and creating
solutions.
With increased understanding and improved skills we can
prevent conflicts at our school from becoming violent and
we can turn problems into possibilities.
The goal of the conflict mediation program in our school
is to train young people in basic steps for making peace.
In the coming weeks students will be given lessons in problem-solving
skills and the process of mediation. Through these lessons
students come to understand that conflict can be positive
and productive, that there are different and legitimate
conflict styles, and that conflicts can escalate or de-escalate
depending on how they are handled. Students will learn that
conflict is an important part of growth and learning because
understanding conflict helps us develop a better understanding
of others and ourselves.
Our program will focus on Problem-solving Skills
which help students begin to put it all together. Students
learn the differences among negotiation, arbitration, and
mediation, and they get a chance to practice negotiation
- the art of talking directly to one another. They are introduced
to a negotiation process that helps guide communication
and that produces effective agreements.
We feel, and research supports, that students learn best
in a safe, respectful environment. Many unnecessary conflicts
disappear in environments fostering a sense of belonging
and connection. When we use productive conflict-resolution
skills, we can build better and more productive relationships
with others. Throughout the curriculum we have placed teamwork,
cooperative games and community building exercises to help
students learn how to work together - both in general and
when in conflict.
How Parents Can Help
It is critical to the progress of this effort for parents
to establish an environment that repeats and reinforces
these skills and attitudes. Children learn more from examples
and role models than they learn from words. We encourage
you to deepen your understanding of conflict resolution
skills and practice them at home whenever possible.
• Learn about conflict resolution along with your
child. Parent handouts in coming weeks will give you a sense
of the skills your child is learning. These handouts will
also list books that parents can read for more information.
• Make it clear that resorting to violence is not
acceptable to you, at home, at school or in the neighborhood.
Your child needs to know how you feel and that you care.
• Get involved. We invite you to be part of the program
as a volunteer.
• Set a good example. How you handle conflicts can
help your child learn critical skills like problem-solving
and negotiation. Settle disagreements with words, not fists
or threats. The example you set shows your child that conflict
need not escalate into violence and aggression.
• Talk to your child - learn your child’s schedule
of conflict resolution lessons and ask questions. Listen
to your child and help him or her to think through these
lessons. A child who knows you will listen is more likely
to share things that are troubling.
• Teach children that respecting others is important.
Use common courtesy. It helps ease tensions that can lead
to violence.
• Reinforce the skills. Practice at home - make use
of daily opportunities to make these skills your own. Remember
that it takes time to acquire and integrate the material
and skills solidly at a personal level. Be patient as you
rearrange your habits and recognize your own learning as
a long-term process.
Recognizing conflict as a positive opportunity opens our
eyes to a new way of handling difficult situations. We hope
you continue to learn and practice these skills in daily
life and treat students as resources - with compassion and
an attitude that learning to resolve conflict productively
is important.
For further reading see:
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving
In. Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Penguin Books, 1981:
New York, NY.
Battles, Hassles, Tantrums & Tears: Strategies for
Coping with Conflict and Making Peace at Home Susan
Beekman and Jeanne Holmes
