Short Introduction to the
Value of Conflict Resolution Education
Teaching conflict resolution skills may be the most important
task of our decade. As technology pervades our world, time speeds
up, distances shrink, and we find ourselves living high-powered,
fast-paced, materialistic lives. The resulting stress makes it
difficult to maintain secure families and lasting friendships.
More than ever, we need strong interpersonal skills to fulfill
our need for meaningful relationships.
At the same time that it stresses human relationships, technology
also introduces new and complex societal problems--from nuclear
waste disposal to genetic engineering, from deforestation to ethnic
wars. If we are to survive, we will need a generation of skilled
problem- solvers--people who can collaborate with others to handle
problems productively, without becoming defensive or taking rigid
positions.
In short, our technological era requires that we advance equally
in relationship technology. We have already learned how to create
walls and weapons of destruction. It is now up to our generation
to see if we can move beyond the barriers to create bridges and
alliances of creativity and courage.
Fortunately, we now have the knowledge and skills to handle
conflicts without violence. Our understanding of relationships
took a leap forward when we began to look at the world in terms
of mutual interests instead of antagonistic rivalries. We now
know that when we structure the world into either one thing or
the other, we create a win-lose game that impedes problem-solving.
In contrast, when we can embrace both the pain and the opportunity
of conflict, the needs of you and me, the uncertainty and the
decisiveness of decision-making, we begin to see the world, our
communities, and our neighborhoods differently. Then we can work
together to solve problems and strive toward common goals.
The next step is to embed these new beliefs and behaviors into
our psyches and into our ways of conducting our day-to-day business.
In this we are making progress:
To maintain this progress, we must make certain that the next
generation learns about these advances and the skills that underlie
them. As parents and teachers, we are at the center of this essential
work. We can and must make this development into an adventure
for students. They, and we, need excitement and visionary goals
toward which to aspire. These advances can be exhilarating and
thrilling to teach to students. After all, these human skills
aren't just ordinary; they are the doorway to amazing opportunities.
But more important than what we teach is the example that we
set for our students and children. How we act is a model for others,
especially the young, who are hungry to learn, imitate, and aspire.
As positive models, we can prevent violence one by one.
Although it may take years before we and our students fully understand
and incorporate these concepts into our daily lives, the investment
of time is well worth it. As parents, we can recognize how to
discipline with dignity by being hard on the problem and soft
on the person. As teachers, we can see how to set children's limits
and empower children to use skills. It takes the willingness to
work together with others to find the satisfying, creative solution--and
this can be done!
